Which way would you lean

hEART vs Head

Rocky aya ghar!

Guess who got towed from home! My bubba is troubling me so much these days, when i start it makes this sound you cant forget, it then feels like its coughing before it starts. Few days ago, one am, it refused to even cough, i called my fave mechanic home, he scraped his head while taking a lookie and decided we needed to get it towed to his garage. The only good thing that happened was my neighbor showed off, her young boys the whole towing process, and the kids got a kick as if they were at a fair!

Thankfully, it's only a fried battery, so i dont have to change my car, and i dont want to change, i have too many memories settled in this car. 

Tear the walls!

Do you ever imagine people walking with walls?

Courtesy: Joie de vivre

 I, do! Infact, there are times when i'm talking to someone i feel the walls, i sense them, i try to penetrate through them. These are the ones you cant touch, they are just there. But the million dollar question is who do you care enough to knock the walls down.

Kabbadi

in the living room with cars

T and i were getting ready to play kabbadi in the living room and we used his cars as a divider between his side and mine. 

Kabbadi kabbadi kabbadi! it's so much fun that i always win!

Haath jaltha hai tho jalne do!

When you have four burners going on the stove, it's better to clean the stove after the cooking is done, but ithni akal kahan, saaf karne ki bohuth bhooth jo sawaar tha. 

I'd rather get burnt and see the scars than see sticky and oil splutters around the stove. Even while it's cooking i have to constantly keep my surfaces clean, so an accident happened that's going to last few months before i forget it.

So, my dear bubba, please pay attention if you are ever at it. I'm sure you'll try to impress your girlfriend by cooking, but beware of these accidents....ok, doll.

Mo

A dear friend of dad's Mohan prasad uncle is no more, a severe loss for the literary world. A well known, highly acknowledged poet. I remember visiting uncles home on my way back from my drawing class in summer holidays when dad was stationed there. Uncle always in white, with cigarette in his hand and their open home next to a rocky mountain in vijayawada. He use to say "paininchi okka rai kuda padindante, mana kuteeram sangatulu inka anthay"..... he'd have a small garden in that patch where the possibility of any rock falling was eminent. I'd look up and wonder...

His daughter, mamta akka went on to win debates at national level and was sent to Germany. Sujata anuty is quite a simpleton. I'll always remember you fondly uncle, i promise to visit aunty the next time i'm there.

Few small and big moments

with T... 

When my neighbor and i were talking in the driveway, he sat so close to her little puppy, letting it lick him, on top of it, he moved around so that the dog could lick him on both his hands :) then he curiously asks me "Why do dogs have eyes, mamma?" with his casual shrug. i felt like squeezing him hard. 

Same day, over pink milk our conv went something like this...

I missed you today my bubba.

T: why mamma, was I lost? (t's face was so full of wonderful cute worry )

Why would you be lost, mera baccha?

T: When something is missing, it's lost mamma!

ha ha...Meri jaan, you are right!

Wouldn't be so cute to say "I lost you, today?". He speaks like such a wise person with transparent thoughts sometimes, it amazes me. 

Me hearties, hope you all "lose" someone close to your heart and yet far in distance. 

Lost time

Courtesy: Joie de Vivre

Is this why we seem to quite frequently say, time flies?? and yet when we meet people we haven't  met  in ages, it feels like  just yesterday that we spoke to them. This graffiti reminds me of Salvador Dali's Melting clock. 

Mind the Gap

....not like the one in the tube in London. But the gap in thoughts between epochs of life even though the settings are the same.

Since my mom's here, i notice few things that she says in conversation that make me ponder, make me think deep, makes me wonder, how as people we have changed so drastically over the decades. I imagine her in my shoes, how she'd have led her life, how she would have managed a situation that i find it so difficult to overcome.

I'll never forget when she got worried about my chronic cough that has returned with vengeance this year. While making fruit salad, she lovingly asked me does your cough trouble V?. I was like why would it, i've had it for over 10 years now, if anything everyone got used to it, even my friends and T got used to it. She innocently replies,  "aadat kaise hoga beta, phir aapki takleef?"

Hmm....interesting, takleef! hmm....i had quietly accepted the pain and didn't pay attention to it....how could i have expected empathy for my implicit pain when i myself didnt heed to it. I dont mean to reproach V or anyone, it's just how life is, how we get lost in the mechanics of it. I didnt explain her all this, i just got lost in my thoughts.

As people of this age, we need answers, we need them now, we need things to be in order, our minds are adapted to see things only in a way that condition well. We go to docs, we expect them to resolve our probs asap, our visit to them is a way of our taking care of the issue. But now i wonder, is that enough, is one act of resolute act suffice. Is TLC as needed as it claims? Are kind words more balm-ing/ healing than a docs prescription???? I cease to think i'd need it.

We deal with those pressures or circumstances, but the art of dealing with it in a breathable way that allows for a good exchange of emotions is largely absent. I wonder, how would T process his thoughts, his emotions, how would he deal with pressure cooker moments of times. Most importantly, how can i teach him to take care of his precious thoughts, how to let him preserve the sanctity of his well being and of those he treasures.

Before and After

I was reading an article somewhere that prompted me to write this. It kinda struck a chord and i thought i'll list the things that i did differently, BT and AT!


== I pick clothes that need minimum to no ironing, as a result learnt to expertly layer clothes.


== Makeup-  I never did much but BT whatever little I use to do it @ home, but now i've realized i do it a better job, at the traffic light stop, or yield signs. At one stop i start with eye liner and mascara, while driving i put my powder on, while still driving my lipstick and gloss is in order by the time i reach my destination i have perfume handy.


== My high heel / Silhouette shoes: BT i use to wear them all the time, but now, not for long, i crave for that flat comfort zone. So, i have learnt to leave my extra pair on the passenger seat next to me while i drive with flats. While i'm spraying myself with the perfume, i reach over to scout for my high heeled shoes, wear them. 


== Dressing for Parties: Fursat mein i use to try on few clothes, try on N no of shoes, make heaps of tried on clothes on bed, but now, i briefly scan the closet, see what would work out, and wear which ever shoes work with them.


== Earrings: I use to let my lazy behaviour take over and leave my earrings on all night, but now IF i even get to wear any, i religiously remove them at night.


== Clean house: It may look clean to you, but i cant fool myself can i? I pick all toys and stuff that i cnat find home for and either leave them in my closet or in the garage. Quick mop, plenty lysol wipes, febreeze and bingo, clean and fresh smelling home. 


== Gift Shopping: ha ha...pehle tho, i'd atleast maek an attempt to go the store buy gifts, wrap them, write a card etc. But now, AT, we stop at Wawa, buy the gift card there. If i really have to get a gift, i do it on my way to the party, wrap it in the car. As a backup, i carry scotchtape in the car :)

== My weekday hair wash party has moved to thursday am's and on this day my hair decides how it wants to be, and i've learnt to take it in stride. 

What and how have u changed ??

Raise your hand

if you like this one....

Dont need another perfect line...


.....till all my sleeves are stained red.

The first few seconds the high they take you to and the tempo they stage in download worthy....will give all my secrets away....

Living room

Nate Berkus said....everytime we walk in our home, it has to raise up to us, to greet us, to welcome us, to makes us feel like we are where we want to be - well he didnt say the last part but i did and kinda like it. 

I'm one of those people who switches around furniture, move the paintings around, not a big fan of curtains, if I must, then have to change them frequently, i feel like i'm trying outfits for my home all the time. I know my style, i know what i like...that's the problem sometimes. From my head to paper i drafted this, got half way through it, where i moved the couch, yet to get the side tables etc, due to time and travel distances to the stores i'd like to go, i opted to reuse my existing furniture from other rooms. 

My sweet child, when you own or rent a home, i'm sure you'll get some sense of my eccentricity, the rule of thumb is "never ever decorate your home in one shot"...make it a process, make it grow with you, do one room at a time. Dont get tied down with furniture, they are only stuff. Decorate with a personal touch, decorate with a style of functionality, persona and your "like factor" of it. 

Need we say more!

I so feel this one!

Mera jhoota hai japani!

I found these drool worthy....now if only i could find an outfit to go with it, hmm...let me think. How abt a pair of black shorts, a peachy top with a hint of shimmer, boyfriend blazer and an electric blue clutch. In my kuckoo it looks awesome, what say you!

Sweet sweethearts

T @ 13 months and Ammi in Eluru.

Welcome Home darling! Welcome home....