On the terrace...

Third day of fasting... seharis and iftaars by myself is no fun, missed my jeejs, he'd be so sweet to me. 

Right after sehari around 4.45am, i stepped out to the patio, the air was balmy and kinda warm, it surprised me. As i leaned on the railing, instinctively my eyes went up to the sky. For some strange reason, the scene of Shahrukh and Kajol's DDLJ came to my mind. The scene where he walks on the ladder to cross over and come to her side of the terrace, a cute scene, hmm it seems different than what i imagined. Anyway, I frankly think the subtle art of fussing over and doting on are totally lost somewhere. We all are so busy in our lives, racing minds for the next to-do, engrossed in .... 

Anyway, as silly a reflex of thought, I looked down from the patio, to see if shahrukh is in sight somewhere. Darn....everyday now right after sehari, i'll step out to amuse myself. 

With my arms across my chest i stepped back in.

How many can you count!

Not sure if i feel it in me to write these days, the point is missing me for sure there. There are days you couldnt stop me from pouring out my craziness, others i'm very unsociable and taciturn. i'm running a streak of it now....

but then i have drafts everywhere, little notes everywhere, tucked in my email, my heart, my head, my palms, my phone, some invisible ones sketched in the thin air, one such woke me up at 2.45am and couldnt put it back.

Gently uncurled taran's arm from me and headed to the living room with my phone in hand.

Thought of all the people who wouldnt mind if i'd call them at this hour, my count didnt go beyond 3 fingers. I'm thankful for that even, i wonder if i'd be on anyone's such count of fingers.

But then who'd answer a call at this hour, and cursed myself of that, these days odd hour is not the only excuse for not answering or returning the calls. My mistakes and incivilities predate me, i figured.

Drank water out of faucet, turned on the idiot box and watched the rest of my fave movie, Pride and Prejudice. The soft light of the moon from the blinds, the warmth from the throw, it seemed like i was on a mini 10 mts pay-vacation type of thingies. 

I dont know why i cant get enough of that movie, i only have seen it more than dozen times now. Jane, lizzie, mr. bennett the father, lydia, mr. bingley, my lovely misunderstood mr. darcy - what endearments am i allowed he asks ? 

I could more easily forgive his vanity if he hadnt wounded mine, Lizzie says --- now that couldnt be put more eloquently. Fell asleep to it on the couch. Why do i look so haggard V asks, i dont know why, but jee thanks.. But i cant wait to tell my count of buddies that i counted them and that dose of movie wasnt enough but i'll live with it for now.