Curiosity

An old friend was visiting Chicago from Hyd, as our custom to be in touch when we are “in the hood”, he called. After few missed calls we did touch base. In our usual teasing and throwing jabs at each other, he said something that made me feel good about myself.

There are stories, incidents, and many hours of time we all friends spend together in Gold Coast, Aus. In familiarity with that, one of them kept bugging N and took him back into memory lanes and flashbacks, which he wasn’t very happy about. He was sharing that convo with me, to offset it, I said “N, I want to know too, what happened, pls tell me because I’m so curious”….he replied “you know, linku, you don’t look like a curious person”!!! I smiled, we spoke of other important things in our lives and hung up after few minutes.

But something about what he said and how he said, struck me. In such moments it dawns that how we portray ourselves and how we speak – leaves an impression of who and what we are. He’s right, I’m not curious, I never was, I take people as they come and let them go, I hope they know what I mean in their lives. When friends in a relationship break up, its sad but it's their calling, I couldn't choose one over the other, they both are wonderful friends in my life and I couldn't pass one over the other. So I chose to be friends with both, yet I never spoke about one to the other. We shared moments as new friends with new members of family. But I couldn't be the awkward influence of the past. I’m glad I did, everyone I know is in a good place in their lives and I’m good friends with all.

Relief

I have deactivated FB since last sat – aug 9^th, after a huge epiphany that sat afternoon. I haven’t missed it since, actually there’s huge relief….as I was planning a friend’s baby shower  and i had to re-login to get in touch with few girls. Except that I didn’t feel the urge or the curiosity to. I’m surprised that it’s not bothering me, its saving me tons of time and I feel lighter not having to know all the goings on.

Butterfly

This morning, Taran, did not want to go to the camp, he wanted to stay home and kept asking me to work from home, I couldn’t, I feel so crappy when i say no to him. Time is slipping by, he is growing up and the choices we make, make it harder to spend quality bonding time. I hate myself for that,i hope someday he’ll know what I mean.

Tania knows when i'm leaving, and gets very upset! Her crying and sad droopy face...is hard to get past! the woes of working mom are too pricey! I love you much my loves...

On my way to work, I heard Matthew Hussey’s interview on Elvis Duran show and felt like sharing what I heard. It’s dating advice interpreted as a story about a butterfly. There are three kind of human behaviors and patterns. 

In one instance when a exotic thing as a butterfly lands in a person’s hand, some don’t even have time to look at the beauty and wonder of  a butterfly so the butterfly leaves…it goes away, it knows it's not valued.

In the second instance, when the butterfly lands in a person’s hand, the person is so terrified that such a beautiful thing finally landed with them, that they hold it tight, so what happens to the butterfly in such case…. it gets squished or it tries to look for creaks to escape.

In the last instance, when the butterfly lands in a person’s hand, the person puts his other hand around the butterfly to shield it from the wind.

When you are with someone – that person and you should be like that to each other. You both would know what I mean when the right time comes, until then don’t waste your time with people who cant lend the kind hand or be the butterfly in your lives.

http://www.elvisduran.com/media/play/love-advice-matthew-hussey-dishes-about-24539286/

In the same show, he talked about people who are always teasing as being playfully teasing - and how that can be very exhausting. Yet, there are some who are always so earnest and intense, that it can get boring....wow! Neither is a good thing, the balance of knowing when to be teasing and plyaful and when to be earnest is the tie breaker. 

I wish that for both my kids. My experiences are coming in at a steep cost and leading to dead ends, and not knowing the wealth of information and life experinces out there, is taking me many steps back. 

Rain

It rained all night and through a good part of the morning, I couldn't help but feel that even gods and the skies cry - when Robin Williams is gone.

I saw a movie of his when i was in Australia, something about what came across on the screen to me, left a deep impression in my young mind. I love him since....when i read the news as much as it shocked me, i understand how it feels sometimes with darkness of life that is beyond comprehension.

It seems like since dad passed away, all good in life is going away behind him. Just chill biting reality is left behind for us mortals.

PS: I just looked up, its "Jack", the name of the movie that i saw in Brisbane.

In an interview with Robin Williams.Asked whether he was happier in his life, he responded "I think so. And not afraid to be unhappy. That's OK too. And then you can be like, all is good. And that is the thing, that is the gift."