…after paying the hefty 700$ for fixing my pocket door that my house keeper Zuly kinda broke, I needed some downtime to perk me up. Some deep decluttering, long baths, braiding hair, an errand at tarjay, meeting someone from my gym there, baking brownies- I let my home wrap me up cozily. Im grateful to have this warmth.
Ammi mentioned Bhaiya is down with cold & Luna is getting ready for Ramzaan.
….In the midst of workday…as I went on a walk with Matt…our conversations take such interesting turns…when I said something….i realized that I didn’t think about this before….honest to god i have an uncanny ability to find the most dark / intense / deep shows or moments or books. The maze they create in the world, the characters from either or and the resemblance of them- it’s like they become a part of me and i for them.
Sometimes when thoughts become words and take shape - they hold power.
…..my mind wanders…as it’s snowing outside and the cold brew in my stained china wafts the aroma of my chai ….to a place where I had last known a version of me that I fiercely loved.
…listening to the song on our drive and she said - i like this singer - the sight of the vast farms with the sunset, the single lanes heading towards Savonah Bistro with pink skies as blankets, dark silhouette of bare trees and white pillowy snow….we listened to this song in quietness and my heart captured the image and now it’s a moment I’ll index through.
…… its a hard thing realizing people aren’t who you want them to be.
No truer words spoken but in the same token - they are not bound by your values or your ideas of them.
It still doesn’t sting less. The idea of their grandness that crumbles as the time wills past you & you are left with a vast hollowness that just doesn’t want to fill in. No matter how much you try.
Bruce can’t talk back to me but I replay those words.
