Yeh Duniya Wale Poochhenge

something very cute about this song, and ofcourse my fave mr.dev :)





Sent from my iPhone

Raise your hand

if you like this one....

Dont need another perfect line...


.....till all my sleeves are stained red.

The first few seconds the high they take you to and the tempo they stage in download worthy....will give all my secrets away....

Tu bin bataye!

Something about the way, she continues to look at him, when he puts the ring on her finger, though among many friends, the celebratory moment is so crystallized just between those two. Love it.

Can you figure it ?

I cant seem to get this song out of my head, no point lying in the bed and humming next to a toddler, right, so i got up. Tiptoed down to my living room hoping i wouldnt disturb T....I dont know how he knows when i'm not next to him, within a minute or so instinctively i'll hear him call for me. It has always happened, unfailingly, but each time i still hope i can cheat his dozy radar and get away for few minutes...just as i turn on the stove for my chai.... i hear him say..."mamma, whey aa you?"

I absolutely dig this song...as i was listening to the song with my eyes closed, an image of myself drifted in circles, I was at a door in a white shirt, walking down the stairs, onto the street, past the big oak trees and out of nowhere i was lifted by this giant white cloud........tch tch tch....cant tell u further da, it sounds juvenile, all i can say is, i could feel the rain on my face...each and every drop of it.

At the mark of 6.52....it feels so surreal, feels like extending a hand...

I just stared out the window for the longest time, is it possible, can we be and still not be! No, its not possible, reality is as stark as the bleeding blood, as real as the light at the end of the tunnel. Just getting there scratch free is impossible....we have to learn to live each and every bit of it, the awesome, the beautiful, hurting, loving and sad bits too. We owe to it to ourselves.

No point tiptoeing anymore....lets all make some noise. 

I'm such a nut job

Woke up from sleep feeling hungry and little lost....scoured the refrigerator to find 2 slices of pizza, i felt a great sense of relief and thanked gods for saving me some. Instead of getting to it right away, i put my hunger on hold, and unloaded the dishwasher, got to the pile of dishes in the sink, put the trash out, laid the unrest to rest by scrubbing the sink and the counter top. God knows why....i'm the way i'm. My idiosyncrasies get the best out of me....

I was looking ahead at Penn Center, Philadelphia y'day and suddenly remembered the first time i went to Philly ever.

Anyway, right about now totally dig the down time after a day full of....actually i dont want to talk about it. I only want the silence to wrap me in its blanket and take me to a place i wish to be... aah my fave song on iheartradio can we pretend, cool, i really could use a wish right now, i wonder how many are we all allowed before we use up all of them.

Now that i ate pizza, i'm feeling guilty for my waist line, i shouldnt have eaten, bugger. I should learn to be in control of all my pangs.

He and I

My split lip was just swollen enough to make a crooked smile, if my jaw wasnt hurting i didnt know what was, T's headbutt at 3 am felt like zizou's to marco in the last world cup. It just throbbed like f*****g hell.

But as i got into the car, i didnt know he was already in there. Unknowing of his presence, while driving on 202, with a hint of satire he spoke gently. i was mildly surprised but ready to listen and his voice drenched my flow of thought... i may have been driving, but my eyes were looking at windows of my life in hyde, gold coast and many many other times when he was there and i didnt realize it.

He speculated...

"aaj zindagi ke rubaroo aagaye

zindagi ne pucha dard kya hai,

kyon hota hai, kahan hota hai ye bhi tho nahi jaanta..

tanhai kya hai akhir, kithne log tho hai

phir tanha kyon ho,

mera chehra dekh kar zindagi ne kaha,

mein tumhari judwa hoon..

mujhse naaraaz na huwa kar..."

To each his own, but what poetic justice to the nucleus of life. Each word, each word depicting the baffle, the perplexity is beyond me. When she says ..Jeene kay liye socha hee nahi dard sambhal ne hongey...musku rau tho, musku raaney kay, karz uthar ne honge... it just hit north of home. While growing up, i felt so invincible, i couldnt be touched, very few survived the wrath of being close to me, and that never made me think that dealing with life comes with such growing pains.

The ironic part was, i heard him talk to me over the last decade or more, but when he spoke this time, it felt real, it felt like his words were sweeping my hair back and i didnt know what to say, with my eyes gazing at the windows of my life and my hands on the steering, i lightly nodded while barely trying to smile as my lips HURT.

As i turned the ignition off, pancham also powered off.

Thanks Gulzar ji.

Until next time i unexpectedly find him...khudahafeez...

Paani se likha hota

Woke up badly wanting to listen to one of my fave songs, the lyrics and the music were playing in my head and i was hoping i'd be able to locate my pancham cassette. But as i stepped down, i noticed my headphones sneaking out from under the bed, not wanting my babylu to see it, i hid my all time fave gadget from my son, and googled. I immediately thanked god, for iphones (very lame and shallow, i know). But when a girl wants something, she better get it!

Dear god,

i need you to figure me out and fix me asap! I cant handle myself, i'm beyond my understnading, my life is beyond me....well anyway thank you for listening, i know you cant help me, i know you want me to help myself and i just want you to know i'm trying. It's not easy considering....well you know. I love you too.

ciao doll,
moi