Few small and big moments

with T... 

When my neighbor and i were talking in the driveway, he sat so close to her little puppy, letting it lick him, on top of it, he moved around so that the dog could lick him on both his hands :) then he curiously asks me "Why do dogs have eyes, mamma?" with his casual shrug. i felt like squeezing him hard. 

Same day, over pink milk our conv went something like this...

I missed you today my bubba.

T: why mamma, was I lost? (t's face was so full of wonderful cute worry )

Why would you be lost, mera baccha?

T: When something is missing, it's lost mamma!

ha ha...Meri jaan, you are right!

Wouldn't be so cute to say "I lost you, today?". He speaks like such a wise person with transparent thoughts sometimes, it amazes me. 

Me hearties, hope you all "lose" someone close to your heart and yet far in distance. 

Lost time

Courtesy: Joie de Vivre

Is this why we seem to quite frequently say, time flies?? and yet when we meet people we haven't  met  in ages, it feels like  just yesterday that we spoke to them. This graffiti reminds me of Salvador Dali's Melting clock. 

Mind the Gap

....not like the one in the tube in London. But the gap in thoughts between epochs of life even though the settings are the same.

Since my mom's here, i notice few things that she says in conversation that make me ponder, make me think deep, makes me wonder, how as people we have changed so drastically over the decades. I imagine her in my shoes, how she'd have led her life, how she would have managed a situation that i find it so difficult to overcome.

I'll never forget when she got worried about my chronic cough that has returned with vengeance this year. While making fruit salad, she lovingly asked me does your cough trouble V?. I was like why would it, i've had it for over 10 years now, if anything everyone got used to it, even my friends and T got used to it. She innocently replies,  "aadat kaise hoga beta, phir aapki takleef?"

Hmm....interesting, takleef! hmm....i had quietly accepted the pain and didn't pay attention to it....how could i have expected empathy for my implicit pain when i myself didnt heed to it. I dont mean to reproach V or anyone, it's just how life is, how we get lost in the mechanics of it. I didnt explain her all this, i just got lost in my thoughts.

As people of this age, we need answers, we need them now, we need things to be in order, our minds are adapted to see things only in a way that condition well. We go to docs, we expect them to resolve our probs asap, our visit to them is a way of our taking care of the issue. But now i wonder, is that enough, is one act of resolute act suffice. Is TLC as needed as it claims? Are kind words more balm-ing/ healing than a docs prescription???? I cease to think i'd need it.

We deal with those pressures or circumstances, but the art of dealing with it in a breathable way that allows for a good exchange of emotions is largely absent. I wonder, how would T process his thoughts, his emotions, how would he deal with pressure cooker moments of times. Most importantly, how can i teach him to take care of his precious thoughts, how to let him preserve the sanctity of his well being and of those he treasures.

Before and After

I was reading an article somewhere that prompted me to write this. It kinda struck a chord and i thought i'll list the things that i did differently, BT and AT!


== I pick clothes that need minimum to no ironing, as a result learnt to expertly layer clothes.


== Makeup-  I never did much but BT whatever little I use to do it @ home, but now i've realized i do it a better job, at the traffic light stop, or yield signs. At one stop i start with eye liner and mascara, while driving i put my powder on, while still driving my lipstick and gloss is in order by the time i reach my destination i have perfume handy.


== My high heel / Silhouette shoes: BT i use to wear them all the time, but now, not for long, i crave for that flat comfort zone. So, i have learnt to leave my extra pair on the passenger seat next to me while i drive with flats. While i'm spraying myself with the perfume, i reach over to scout for my high heeled shoes, wear them. 


== Dressing for Parties: Fursat mein i use to try on few clothes, try on N no of shoes, make heaps of tried on clothes on bed, but now, i briefly scan the closet, see what would work out, and wear which ever shoes work with them.


== Earrings: I use to let my lazy behaviour take over and leave my earrings on all night, but now IF i even get to wear any, i religiously remove them at night.


== Clean house: It may look clean to you, but i cant fool myself can i? I pick all toys and stuff that i cnat find home for and either leave them in my closet or in the garage. Quick mop, plenty lysol wipes, febreeze and bingo, clean and fresh smelling home. 


== Gift Shopping: ha ha...pehle tho, i'd atleast maek an attempt to go the store buy gifts, wrap them, write a card etc. But now, AT, we stop at Wawa, buy the gift card there. If i really have to get a gift, i do it on my way to the party, wrap it in the car. As a backup, i carry scotchtape in the car :)

== My weekday hair wash party has moved to thursday am's and on this day my hair decides how it wants to be, and i've learnt to take it in stride. 

What and how have u changed ??

Raise your hand

if you like this one....

Dont need another perfect line...


.....till all my sleeves are stained red.

The first few seconds the high they take you to and the tempo they stage in download worthy....will give all my secrets away....

Living room

Nate Berkus said....everytime we walk in our home, it has to raise up to us, to greet us, to welcome us, to makes us feel like we are where we want to be - well he didnt say the last part but i did and kinda like it. 

I'm one of those people who switches around furniture, move the paintings around, not a big fan of curtains, if I must, then have to change them frequently, i feel like i'm trying outfits for my home all the time. I know my style, i know what i like...that's the problem sometimes. From my head to paper i drafted this, got half way through it, where i moved the couch, yet to get the side tables etc, due to time and travel distances to the stores i'd like to go, i opted to reuse my existing furniture from other rooms. 

My sweet child, when you own or rent a home, i'm sure you'll get some sense of my eccentricity, the rule of thumb is "never ever decorate your home in one shot"...make it a process, make it grow with you, do one room at a time. Dont get tied down with furniture, they are only stuff. Decorate with a personal touch, decorate with a style of functionality, persona and your "like factor" of it. 

Need we say more!

I so feel this one!

Mera jhoota hai japani!

I found these drool worthy....now if only i could find an outfit to go with it, hmm...let me think. How abt a pair of black shorts, a peachy top with a hint of shimmer, boyfriend blazer and an electric blue clutch. In my kuckoo it looks awesome, what say you!

Sweet sweethearts

T @ 13 months and Ammi in Eluru.

Welcome Home darling! Welcome home....

The sight of strength

Few days ago, a freind of mine said, "mera dil halka hua ab tumse baath karkay"....i dutifully accepted the gratitude she felt for unloading her issues.

We are told that we feel lighter when we share what we feel. I beleive so....but how do you spot the sight of strength in a friend who can endure your "stuff".

Am i making sense? Because in my kuckoo, i perfectly am.

The answer to that my baby is, how you feel and how they make you feel when you share. Thier voice, thier touch, thier honesty everything makes you feel so cared for and loved for. The enormity and the lightness of the situation takes a full circle. I hope you can be a friend with such strength and i hope you find friends with the same. 

Whats important for you?

Y'day in the middle of eating his pizza with this friend, T says "but mom l--- is eating with his mouth open". I somehow salvaged the situation there and moved on. 

I had been wanting to blog about this topic of how parents can enforce manners in kids and this is just as good time as another. For me, there are some manners that i swear by and i make sure that T learns them. I dont care what situation we are in, if there is a platform that i see as an opportunity for my son to learn, you bet, i'll seize it. He's learning to say his "No, thank you's", "Yes, please's", eating with mouth closed, cant swing feet while eating, using his table napkins, putting his shoes back where they belong, hang his towel after finishing it up, putting his clothes in the dirty laundry, he sometimes even tells his dad which one is a tea spoon and which one is a table spoon. I know i sound like a military mom but there are things i can tolerate except an unruly one.

However, its tricky when lines get fuzzy esp when we are in a setting where other parents dont acknowledge the same factor as an important stage to let thier kids know of what is acceptable and what isnt. I respect all parents choices irrepective of if i agree or not, I respect thier choices, i honestly do. But how do i explain my kiddo, that people make different choices, people dont tend to see the same picture even from the same stance. 

Instead, i probe T with questions that try to strike the point home that we are responsible just for our own manners and not everybody else's. Even as i'm reading my blog, i feel i come off as a harsh one, but, on my watch, I yearn for him to seek to do the right thing consciously. Do you ever see kids saying thank you without even looking at the person they are thanking for. I dont know why but it irks me!!

What are the ones that you lay the line on?? What are some important ones for you, do you ever think?

Nice watch's!

Few movies worth the watch time...

Ghost world strikes a chord of acceptable behaviors, challenges accepting unacceptable patterns, portrays the highs and lows of a seeking mind. It ends with Jaan pehchaanho, jeena ....of Sir Mohamed Rafi.

American Rhapsody- now that is one movie everyone who moved away from thier homeland would connect with. Parents who try hard, kids who take too easy, the struggle to come to a medium of embracing of who they have to be. But mostly of keeping promises.... 

The Englishman who went up the hill and came down the mountain - All about perseverance and old school meets new ideas. Awesome movie. Hugh Grant and that pub guy just break it all.

Before and After - Meryl Streep, Liam Neeson - A+ acting, excellent script. About a mother and father who are trying to save thier son from the accusations of a murder. But during the whole trial, how they each learn about eachother, the strength of family, Liam Neeson just comes off so awesomely and Meryl does this job of a mother, who lets the child grow in thier own pace and does what is right though it might...oh well...

Bridges of Madison County - I had seen this almost 5-6 years ago, i still remember one scene in the rain, she's in her car, and he's in his car and the struggle she does with herself with all the might she has to stay in her car and not go in his. She can so gracefully potray the character, it's freaking scary. 

Falling in love - Meryl Streep and Robert De Niro - My god, in few scenes it just tears your heart apart.  Aonther one of her classics, saw many years ago. One scene when she tells her friend about how she feels about robert de niro, expresses what she's bottled up. About two people, who meet as strangers in a train and become friends and how that later on grows into more and more. Time tests what they hold for eachother and they trust thier guts on that.

Kramer VS Kramer - Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep again. Cant tell how many oscars it won. Its just a beautiful movie.

The Reader ; and The Revolutionary Road - two of Kate Winslet's classics. Ok i gotta stop - i'm so getting carried away. I only started for Ghost world and American Rhapsody.

I;ll keep bringing more of what i like. 

Happy daddy's day!

While Hallmarking, i saw one card that just made me laugh so loud in store - it went something like this...

One month after Mother's day, 

someone said, 

Hi! wait a minute, 

what about the fathers!!

Apparently thats about the origin of fathers day ; ) 

Either way, it's a beautiful way to celebrate the love, the quirkiness, the strength that dads bring in to our lives. Taran and I are going for a fathers day carnival at his school this evening. 

Happy Fathers day, my darling abbu! I'd have taken you to Billy Elliot broad way show. 

Dear sugar bunnies, enjoy your weekend and dont forget to tell your dad all the things about life and in general that you learnt from him, muaah!

How True?

“ A person’s worth is contingent upon who they are, not upon what they do, or how much they have. The worth of a person, or a thing, or an idea, is in being, not in doing, not in having. Alice Mary Hilton


There is stuff in my head that i find hard to convey and i just let go of not explaining or fiercely hope the other person "gets it" on their own. This is one such. 

Wander, ever?

:)

Now my big question is, can you muster the courage to get there?