Going in circles...

Last sunday night, Taran’s clothes for his school are picked out, his sleeping bag, blankie, all packed, his lunch menu planned all set for Monday, my work clothes put out of the closet, ready for first day of school and my work.
Monday morning, got up ahead of time, T’s lunch packed, my lunch packed, fed, changed & dropped him off at school, couldn’t reach mom on the phone, ate my b’fast on route, traffic is light, heard bin tere twice and I’m actually going to make it work by 8.45, bang on, a thought hits me, I look at my back seat….fuck fuck fuck! Crap! Hell no! where the fuck is it! what...my freaking laptop.

I forgot my work laptop at home.

I’m 7 mts away from work and 45 from home, and I realize I drove to work w/out my laptop. I called to find if I could get a loaner. Not today, I was informed.

So you can imagine my impatience and my crankiness.

Oddly, on my drive back home, i found all this ironically super humorous. I just couldn’t help laughing at myself. By god! I had everything planned, yet, the most unimportant kind of silly stupid stuff happen to me all the time. All this non-consequential, irrelavant stuff seem to happen in my life.

An hour late-r, as I enter the conf room, TC asks me, so do you remember where you parked your car? with a smirk on his face. Gadha, ullu, stupid, duffer- I told him…this is not the time, dude.
 
On another note, my stupid friend Moddu, is going on a road trip all by himself, on his scorpio, and i'm so green with envy. I wanna go too...i wish....i wish that he....doesnt forget anything...

Ha Ho Ha

Happy Holidays Hangover!!

Lots of Vodka, wine and lots of lot later….i woke up next to my smiling son….

B’fast at diner, lazed to Break Ke baad and wondered why can’t guys be like him, gulati. Oye merey gulati! This movie on some level screws with girls psycho of a perfect guy. It promises one.

Anyway, thank god, I’m ishshmart enough to know that there is no such thing. Bechari ladkiya….dont be fooled yaaron. But really, what a sweet guy na… the movie has some very munni scenes.

My year ended with I hate luv Story's and started with break ke baad....ha ha ha...tera kya hoga munni! My bheja's fm hasnt stopped humming this song 3 days straight now.

Starting 31st I had called the people that matter to me and ending Jan 1st the ones that I matter to called me back.  Starting dec 31^st and by the end of jan 1^st I spoke to all the people that truly matter. It’s a warm feeling, aint it.

Ever wonder why people take resolutions on NY’s? I mean what is this urgency to get back in shape, finish all the pending stuff, do this, do that, make take orders to self….what’s the adrenaline rush about? Jo bhi…you want a teaser in your life, suit yourself. Me...me a tough cookie, i know resolutions are for sissies.

Life in my books took a sharp turn few years ago, so for all that I’ve lost and for all that I have and don’t have….i’m in works to accept it as it is. Vito Corleone kya bolta abhi iss waqt, socho tho!

Right about on Sunday, I cried as donte drum was executed on death row. Is it ok to cry on second day of the year….I cursed the state of Texas for death rows, and was telling T how he should not like Texas too. V got worried with all the hate talk....and asked me not to make loud opinions. Yeah sure! go tell that to Texas!

....my new year song is bin tere...sing it away baby. Listen to it with your eyes closed, let the music lead you....koi khalish hai hawaon mein bin tere...now sing it louder, let me hear it, play some air guitar and make a mean face while you are it. Ok ok...no i'm not drunk. just chillaxing! I promised a happy blogger not a one that makes sense too....xoxo.

Happy New Year!

Its so strange i had a dream this morning, i was antiquing, kids from neighbourhood were trick or treating, it snowed and i was dressed in white, i went into this antique store, saw this huge wall clock, a beautiful ornate one, except the hands on the clock were tied with this rope. I wonder what it means....

I wish you a happier blogger. I'll try to be one. But meanwhile, i hope this year will ring in beautifully. I have no expectations, I'm just ready for another year to unfold.

Have fun while you are at it. Muuuah!

Ho Ho Ho!

Kinda late with this  post, but thats my sweet heart flashing his fake smile, by the tree I have sitting in the living room. It turned out beautifully and the ornaments are the coolest. Now, that'll be my year end adventure, to find the coolest looking and meanigful ornaments. I'll pass it on to T when he's all grown up : )....aww... to me from you ; ) V's back from his sabaticcal and T has his school off so him and i are actually spending quality time since i'm back to work.

We were off to library this am, and he knew the drill, mamma i want to see the fishes (the aquarium in the library), he knew after that, we'll cross the street, and eat pizza in the food court. Right after his pizza he was like ok, lets go to the slides (the play area in the mall)....

After mending a broken heart, (rj's phone call), i needed something strong, so i watched "Godfather" for the first time. I'm a nut about watching movie right from first second, i hate missing story or any underlying base that leads to the heart of the story. I still havent forgiven V for arriving late to watch mira nair's Namesake....We had arguments about watching a movie or not on TV based on the fact that the movie is ONE minute into the start....

Godfather on dvr and kiddo in bed, i hit the remote. I'm loving it....i got as far as Micheal coming back from Sicily and he's taking over his dad's mafia business. T woke up from his nap right when sonny is shot multiple times at the toll on the highway. He later remarks, how that guy was shot in the neck, in the head and how he got a boo boo...because of the gun.

Crap...hell...my guilt shot to the roof and i turned it off. anyway, i hope my cousins will make it as planned. Chalo gtg, i have lots to share but i dont know how to and where to start. I love you for giving me the blank space to throw my "mumbo jumbo"! naah...i dont mumbo jumbo...i'm for real, always have been, always will.

Listen to this song, pee loon tere naino se shabnam...Enjoy until i'm back to recap on my year, right, ha ha! that should be something.

On The Runway

On The Runway
She looks so good. I dont like her much, but that outfit, that color, the hair, she looks just right.

Are you conscious?

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."
- Thornton Wilder


I came across this few days ago and it struck a chord, cant say why.
I hope, you, my dolly, have treasures you are conscious of in your heart. Enjoy and savor their's / it's presence in your life.

My tree and my ornaments...

 

Tu bin bataye!

Something about the way, she continues to look at him, when he puts the ring on her finger, though among many friends, the celebratory moment is so crystallized just between those two. Love it.

I know she's not mine

.......you have to see the vid to know the rest of it. I cried watching this. T hugged me and said "mamma, i love you"....I hate it that he's exposed to my vulnerabilities, but it's humbling that the fisrt thing he says when i'm at my worst is that he loves me.

After Take 1

Take 2

Lets try this the other way round,

what do I do with you, she hesitantly asks him. 

He nuzzles his nose on her shoulder and replies with a

question, can you take me with you like the glow of the rainbow in your

pocket…

She smiles and instead ties his thought as a string of bond

around her wrist and puffs away…. 

After she's gone, all he sees is the faint dust of

afterthought 

After she's come far enough, all she sees is the print

of his foot walking away… 

Come on! i can do better than this... or is this as good as it gets, any helpers, edit me!

Love this song! koi aane wala hai....Mann mera pagal dhoondta hai tujhey ghabraake....cool!

So much has happened since last time i came here,

its hard to pick the string at one point and roll it along...

dont know where to begin....

all i've been doing the past few days is carry my kindle with me everywhere, 

since i started reading through kindle,

i cant belive i made it without it for so long!

I remembered something that happened in Gold Coast this evening and couldnt shake it off....

i so miss it.

Kithi Baatein

Kitni baatien....just smooth lyrics....from Lakshya

Kaise aayi hai aisi dooriyan....

Does it ever happen to you at all...you are right smack in the middle of a silliest conversation, are in the middle of a happening crowd, but you, your heart get tugged away....

Something was amiss...
I'm completely missing the point somewhere

I started to feel so....i dont know for the lack of a better word, i'd say, lonely....empty.
I couldnt shake it off for the longest time and very uncharacteristically i blurted it out to a friend...

No it's not the holidays, not that V is not home, its that cloud of my life hovering over me with questions and all i say is, go figure it out. I'm in need...of what...I dont know...my sis says reach out to god! But God is inside me...I've accepted God in the shape god is in my life.

I love them

From dec 14, 2010, i'm sure i must have bought them for myself :) Thank you, me!

Hi

: )

What...

what do you mean what?

nothing,

then why that smile or is that a grin...

what cant a girl just smile now...

ok

ok then

well it was nice talking to you too on this beautiful day!

Baba

I miss you! I still curse my bad luck for carrying you all by myself to the hospital, i still remember the way your face lit up when you saw taran on his first b'day at the hospitals terrace, i cant forget a lot...but the most that sticks to me is what you taught us even in your last days you tried so much for being with us, i love you so much for trying for our sake....please come back soon. Writers point in Rajahmundry, mamma in eluru, me in West chester, your friedns in hyd and vjy we all are rememring you the best way we can in our own ways.

Lovingly,
Linku

Super duper

As soon as ms. J caught sight of me, she said she wanted to tell me something, my panic alarm started to tickle me....then she said what my bubba did this am, he's progressing well towards potty training. I was so excited that I hugged & kissed him tight. I'm so proud of him, next step in his life....all during our drive back, we talked this and that. But my pride in his silly achievement was brimming in my voice.

Aaj hum bohuth khush hai....aap Jo mujhe maangenge, woh milega. On another note something unexpected happened to me on Monday morning...sweet!