Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Undress
Have you ever felt this....wow... its so strange, I can exactly pin point when, where I felt this way...
ha ha.. the perils of being infatuated or falling for someone :)
All of November
Dear Moi,
You pulled it off!!! I don't know how i did, and i actually dont want to know but I did. I can still hear the music and the feel the tap of foot.
It was Taran's 7 birthday on Sat Nov 22, then the thanksgiving dinners at home and friends homes, then tagging along with Girls to shopping, wrapping up big projects at work, and mostly, throwing the biggest party all by myself with help from lots of sources. Radhika, Ashi, Smitha, the DJ, Jane, Sandrien, Cake Guy, and everyone who came and danced at V's birthday party - it was just superb.
will be heading to india...after that to meet my darlings...
You pulled it off!!! I don't know how i did, and i actually dont want to know but I did. I can still hear the music and the feel the tap of foot.
It was Taran's 7 birthday on Sat Nov 22, then the thanksgiving dinners at home and friends homes, then tagging along with Girls to shopping, wrapping up big projects at work, and mostly, throwing the biggest party all by myself with help from lots of sources. Radhika, Ashi, Smitha, the DJ, Jane, Sandrien, Cake Guy, and everyone who came and danced at V's birthday party - it was just superb.
will be heading to india...after that to meet my darlings...
Sunday, November 09, 2014
Tragic Tragedy
got a text early morning 3.04 am from my nana abbu in pakistan about tragic passing in my family in Harrisburg.
What unfolded next is lot to for me to deal with. I spoke to my khala on way to work, her recount of what happened to my cousin, his accident, just everything shook me to the core.
I couldn't stop thinking of her, nor my cousin. It wasn't possible that he was gone and that too in such a tragic way. It is not my story to share, it is his actually and if anybody else his mom's my aunts, so I'm not sharing this. I don't feel right talking about it, but it shook me up a lot, all these questions of why, how come, what went wrong - kept flooding in my head. not knowing who to reach out to in my "quest" for a lack of better word, for answers, I sought my sister's help. She comforted me in the way she could but i know i think my questions threw her off and made her little off track too.
I promised my aunt that I'll attend the funeral to be there for her. But next sat came and i didnt hear from her, so i thought things were still in works and didnt feel right interrupting her. but came to know on late sat that funeral went smoothly on Sat morning on that warm sunny fall day. He was buried the same day he was born. It was his birthday, the day he was funeral took place. I said my prayers in my heart. I called her on Sunday and promised to come visit her next sat, as she had stuff going on with her, she felt best to see only on weekends.
that following sat 25th oct, on my way to Harrisburg, all the points of my interaction with him, his dad who also passed away few months ago to cancer, his mom (my aunt), was flooding to me and the surrounding mountains with the picturesque fall trees seem to be engulfing me in a hug, in a comforting hug that i couldn't deny. My tears rolled and i cried going to her house. His audi truck was still parked outside.
She gently opened the door for me to welcome in her home, which she is now just visiting as her older son and his family lives there. That impeccable living room is now a accumulation of oversized furniture with unread mail scattered on the TV console. Kids shoes, laundry everything....was everywhere. This wasnt the OCD in me this was the old linku that went in thier old beautiful house now just a memory of a uncle who's no more, a son who's no more, a busy older son and my aunt who visiitng from another state.
We held hands and spoke and she poured it all out, as much as she truthfully can and i just listened with tears...god please give myaunt hte stregnth to deal with this part of her life. An unimaginable sorrow dawned on her and I felt she is holding me up.
I gave what i brought for her grandkids, promised to help her with her airline refund and left her home to visit another friend in town who recently bought a house. My friend was so graceful in not asking too many questions, fed me well which wasn't planned, my heart was crying but i couldn't let it go on it's own. Phir she and I kept talking non-stop for two hours until i left to drive back home.
I'm in awe of people, of families, of untapped strength and love, love with no judgments, love with no expectations, love just sheer love.
All my questions of why people do and behave a certain way, are now rested that the answer is -- there is NO answer, the answer is acceptance, the answer is being there for people, for family and friends. That's my take away and I wont ever forget that. I cant wait to share my lessons with my loving children until then i need to let the answer help me in anyway it can.
I couldn't stop thinking of her, nor my cousin. It wasn't possible that he was gone and that too in such a tragic way. It is not my story to share, it is his actually and if anybody else his mom's my aunts, so I'm not sharing this. I don't feel right talking about it, but it shook me up a lot, all these questions of why, how come, what went wrong - kept flooding in my head. not knowing who to reach out to in my "quest" for a lack of better word, for answers, I sought my sister's help. She comforted me in the way she could but i know i think my questions threw her off and made her little off track too.
I promised my aunt that I'll attend the funeral to be there for her. But next sat came and i didnt hear from her, so i thought things were still in works and didnt feel right interrupting her. but came to know on late sat that funeral went smoothly on Sat morning on that warm sunny fall day. He was buried the same day he was born. It was his birthday, the day he was funeral took place. I said my prayers in my heart. I called her on Sunday and promised to come visit her next sat, as she had stuff going on with her, she felt best to see only on weekends.
that following sat 25th oct, on my way to Harrisburg, all the points of my interaction with him, his dad who also passed away few months ago to cancer, his mom (my aunt), was flooding to me and the surrounding mountains with the picturesque fall trees seem to be engulfing me in a hug, in a comforting hug that i couldn't deny. My tears rolled and i cried going to her house. His audi truck was still parked outside.
She gently opened the door for me to welcome in her home, which she is now just visiting as her older son and his family lives there. That impeccable living room is now a accumulation of oversized furniture with unread mail scattered on the TV console. Kids shoes, laundry everything....was everywhere. This wasnt the OCD in me this was the old linku that went in thier old beautiful house now just a memory of a uncle who's no more, a son who's no more, a busy older son and my aunt who visiitng from another state.
We held hands and spoke and she poured it all out, as much as she truthfully can and i just listened with tears...god please give myaunt hte stregnth to deal with this part of her life. An unimaginable sorrow dawned on her and I felt she is holding me up.
I gave what i brought for her grandkids, promised to help her with her airline refund and left her home to visit another friend in town who recently bought a house. My friend was so graceful in not asking too many questions, fed me well which wasn't planned, my heart was crying but i couldn't let it go on it's own. Phir she and I kept talking non-stop for two hours until i left to drive back home.
I'm in awe of people, of families, of untapped strength and love, love with no judgments, love with no expectations, love just sheer love.
All my questions of why people do and behave a certain way, are now rested that the answer is -- there is NO answer, the answer is acceptance, the answer is being there for people, for family and friends. That's my take away and I wont ever forget that. I cant wait to share my lessons with my loving children until then i need to let the answer help me in anyway it can.
Thursday, November 06, 2014
Monday, November 03, 2014
Movie
Last day of summer holidays, day before school re-opens, however you put it, we worked very hard all of us this summer, my work, his summer camp, it was my small thank you, taran and I at movies, watched ninja turtle movie. Very special day for me....
My very own philsospher
Monday morning 11/3/2014: No for once weren't rushing go to work…everything was going as planned, Taran will get dropped at Elena’s house, I’ll drop Minnie J; I’ll pick bagels for work for Tara’s first day back from Disney vacay. Amidst all this, I was looking for that letter from USCIS and couldn't find it. I was sharing with Taran that I wasn't happy that I’m not able to find that letter.
My darling doll – replies, “Mamma, if you are not happy about one thing, you can’t be happy with anything”!!!! Amen to that my love, he got it bang on…its moments like this that he makes me super proud. It was instantaneous, his reply. Good one, my dear, I’ll remember that.
Halloween weekend 2014
End of the year is happening and activities, parties, get togethers, potlucks, they all seem to happen at the same time. This whole weekend was fun, pleasant….loved it. Fri morning, it strted with a party at Taran’s school, helped Mrs. Skalski a little bit, found out at giant they are selling halal chicken, personally thanked the Managers there, lol, they saved us trips to out of town to get decent meat. Fri afternoon, Tania’s parade at her school, omg they were so cute, I didn’t even mind when she threw a tantrum at the school entrance on our way back.
Fri night, went Trick or treating….was so much fun with Tania and Taran together. She started shy, she didn’t understand what was going on, but she got a hang of it soon enough, she kept saying tick or teet, and once she got her candy, she’d say, thank youuuu…people loved hearing her, she didn’t people to give her the candy, she wouldn’t even look at them if they gave her a candy, she had to choose it herself, that was such a kicker to see, seeing her prance around in her Minnie outfit, eating candy as we got, she ate a good amount of sugar that evening…. Love them so much….taran seems to be outgrowing which is something to think about. He didn’t want to do it with his usual crowd, he chose us, Tania and I, soham, ashi, nishi and Krishav. We were a bunch…hearty bunch….
Sat morning a little touch up, laundry and prepping masala’s, marinating etc, napping, went to neighbors daughter’s first birthday party in the club house. It was perfect….
Sun it worked like a charm, woke up, V fixed simple bfast, I started cooking for the potluck, setting up…etc. Everyone came around 12-12.30 ish and it was fun. Played Mafia, got into fights, yelling at eachother, watching football meanwhile, eating, checking on kids…it was good, aunty (ashi’s mom) lost her eye glasses and we spent good amount of time looking for it.
Around late 4ish everyone left, put lil t to nap, the big T went for extended playdate and V went to DE to buy booze ha ha ha….
Quite evening watching my crime shows, thank you god for giving me a peaceful fun day. Oh wait, especially, thank you god, for letting me receive the letter from UCIS with approval for Ammi’s GC.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Sesame Place
What a gorgeous day! I was expecting quite the contrary and almost wanted to bail out. But i'm glad i went. It was super fun...kids had a blast, we girls had a blast. Sep 21st sun at sesame place with ashi, ashi's mom, isha, sohi, nishi, krishav, myself and my sweety pies. Somehow missed luna, samad and asad a lot.
Sent from my iPhone
Happy My birthday
Tania has been sick for past few days and the night before my bday she decided to wake up every half hour during night because she was hungry. I woke up like a zombie, but the handwritten and handmade cards by kiddos cheered me enough to keep up my best, and my new versace perfume. Somehow made to work, but all day, getting emails and messages from luna, bhaiya, samad, asad, yuva, rekha, carl, priya, ashi, deepa....it just made my day. Not being on FB has made it more authentic to celebrate and feel what i want to feel rather than ....whatever. I decided to survive the day and come back home. Just as sun dawned, all my friends...dropped in to surprise me with cake and gifts and it was awesome, felt very good. Phir, just the four of us went to dinner at PFChangs and had a blast, took a stroll later...it was just wonderful day. I thanked god for everything, especially the people and giving me an experience of a good day.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Friday, September 05, 2014
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
