Size it up?

From a distance, today i saw a grown daughter hug her much older father with such love in her hold....in that minute I felt a pang of fullness in my arms and the comfort you feel when you rest your head on your dad's shoulder.

In Ajmer, daddy being goofy :)

My dad's presence was all i felt, i could see the freckles on this skin and just as the thought was taking a full circle....I realized how it must have felt like for my dad when i was a kid, when i was all up and gone, would it have been the same way like i feel with T?

All the snapshots of moments of T growing up in his size of hugs in my arms and all the times when i hugged my dad in the decisive moments of my life was flocking to my head. One heartfelt hug can close all the distances we conceive in our minds and heart, aint it?

Have a tight squeezy huggable weekend, my sweets.

Rock it, India, Rock it

The mounting tension, the what ifs, the gut wrenching desire to win, nothing spells competition like India vs Pakistan cricket match. I have collective memories of people breaking stuff, banging doors, yelling at TV, fist pumping, the jubilant victories,  jo bhi.....tomorrow there'll be a lot of people working from home and calling in sick to watch the game....

The most anticipated game, no matter what, a lot of hearts will cry with joy and break with tears by the end of this game. These two teams are "allowed" to lose to any other country's team, but when it comes to playing with this respective team the spirit to pulp the other team into pieces is right up there. 

When i was little, ammi's cousins, my brother, sister, myself, all of us would sit on the huge bed, spread on the floor, and watch the game with such adoration. I wish i was in India watching this game, i know my mom is so psyched up. For those few hours everyone i know will be carrying their hearts in their throats rooting for India. Nothing sings spirit like this song, go for it, darlings! Inshallah may India win : )

The soul of my being!

He constantly bowls me over with his childhood innocence, sitting on the counter, with his chaddi, singing his own tune...from last summer. Vous etes chez moi, my babylu.

R.I.P

to Jessica Lall. Though i dont know you, the woman in you and i, is the same. For that, i stand with the family, your truest friends, and the public who stood by you.

I remembered reading the news online many years ago when Jessica Lall was shot in the Mehruli club for denying a drink to a politician's son. As i read the news that day, knowing india's mindset of the rich and the poor, i knew how the law would slant. In 2006, i saw the news of the killer being arrested as top class journalism prevailed the justice. At the time i had South asian channels at home and actually saw the news on tv and felt escalated at Tehelka's persuasion of the truth that was conveniently tucked behind the curtains of bureaucracy.

This afternoon, I watched that movie, No One Killed Jessica, and as i did, i felt enraged, sick to my stomach how somebody would feel when law fails them, when the obvious is so valiantly ignored because of the power in the wallets and the dirtiest tricks of politics that can clout the weak.

Justice has been served but it had been so twisted and tried. The song "mera kaat kaleja dilli..." aptly depicts the mood a justice seeker would feel...kaat kaleja! Kudos to Tehelka! 

Curly story

He was looking in her direction, she felt the gaze of his sight, but in a room full of people she didn't feel like she was the subject and continued her work.

Somebody else caught sight of it, smiled towards her, and made a comment to him about how sweet it was the way he was looking at her. Caught off guard, he made quick rebuttal (silently hoping she would rescue him) looked at her straight in the eye and said "I was looking at how beautiful her curls are today", she felt the drift of his vibe and jubilantly touched her curls and beamed "coming from you, it means a lot". With a smile he shyly shrugs and walks out of the room.

In two minutes she receives a msg from him saying - "You are really awesome"....

:) Aww....isnt that cute.

You wanna join!

One day last year, i spotted Luis's mom struggling to leave her son behind in the classroom, the way i use to struggle outside of T's room. I compassionately non-invasive-ly intruded in her space and told her it'll get better. She told me how they moved from Singapore and he hasnt made any friends yet.

Since then, I'd see T and L play at school, heard T talk abt him. We coincidentally ran into each other at Please touch musuem in Philly one day, it was also Luis's b'day. T and him had so much fun, they gel together so well, touch wood. We exchanged no's to plan for play dates. 

One evening, at school, Luis tagged along with T in my car and refused to leave. I invited them over for some play time, which turned into a lovely impromptu dinner. Another day same week, same thing happened! They invited us over for dinner few weekends ago and like any desi would we arrived stylishly un-deliberate-ly late, but i picked the same german wine to take to thier home that he picked to serve us, good for us, we had plenty wine to be had :) It's uncommon that you can connect with someone effortlessly. No weird gaps of silence to fill, no awkward pauses, just conversations....

A lovely couple they are, banda from German, bandi from Manila....moved from s'pore, banda is into Carrera's....loves to cook, she works in NY. On few occasions, she and i have dropped kids at school, to get b'fast and exchanged stories of our forgetfulness and we just top each other off with the best ones. 

I've invited them over for dinner this weekend and am kinda planning for the menu now. She wants some chicken curry she winked and dropped a hint. So chicken it is!

I've already thought of appetizers but I'm kinda slumped with what to do for dessert. Cheesecake....or maybe homemade warm choclate cake with touch of ice-cream, strawberry/ chocolate syrup and top it off with a cherry. Lovely! i cant believe i just came up with that. Any other suggestions, darlings!

Till the morning sun

you are mine.....

Heard this song on radio this morning, it made me feel bitter-sweet. Thought i'll share with you. Enjoy and have a great day.

Happy Holi darlings!

Chalo bring all the pichkari's, bring in the bhang/beer, bring the fun, come dear friends, pump up the music and dance your heart out ...i remember all the holi's, hiding from friends, mom pointing them to where i was hiding, the gulaal, the ruined clothes, the heavy lunch, the goofy stories later...i miss the holi parties....

Couldnt find the mumtaaz and rajesh khanna song i so like :( but here we go, a very popular holi song...

Whats your story?

We all have one story - a drunk story. I have had friends recant me theirs, have seen friends living a story right in front on my eyes, but for the love of god, I dont have one. I have had quite a few drunk parties but i dont recall one where i totally got drunk and acted goofy and made drunk calls, did something rash that i'd be embarrassed about.

Few weeks ago, at a happy hour, I saw a good friend of mine had literally 2 Mikes hard lemonades, and bang, she was talking funny, swaying form left to right, laughing a lot- after all that, i felt i should be the good friend and wait for her to calm down before she can sit behind hte wheel. We headed to the King of Prussia Mall, ordered tall coffee, sat on the floor infront of the cnady store and talked until she felt better. She apologized the next day, but it was funny. There i was had 4 Mojitos and nothing. I'm not proud of this but i just want to get drunk and call someone. This is when i realized, darn it, how come i dont have a story yet.

I'm always subconsciously aware of my surroundings, i feel more alert when i'm "happy-ing an hour". as a drink-buddy, I listen, i dont volunteer any suggestions and advice...i'll be the person who wont even bring it up the next day, I leave it up to you. I still remember our St. George's vacation with friends, I had 4 straight shots of tequila and all i had was light feet. The other time- my birthday- after i left USA, just being single- N and I went bar hopping during the day, heard jazz blues, had lots to drink and came back home, my jeejs even asked me - tell me the truth did you drink, i put a  stragiht face and lied. He didnt contest and i didnt feel like breaking his heart. Aah...Another time, on new years eve, S, R, myself, jasbir, Laxman, chachu(?), at catalina courts apt, aah this story is so funny, someohter time....

All i wonder now...who'd be my confidant if i was drunk, what would i say, what would i do, I just want to get drunk one day. I'm just very proper, i think : ) 

This and that...

When T kisses me on my palm ...

A hot cuppa chai....

Ammi's biryani...

Ammi's morning greetings...

Baba's hearty hugs....

Sight of my baba engrossed reading a book...

Smell of an old old book...

A deep voice that is just mine...

Flowers...

Sexy watch...

Sexier shoes....

A thought provoking movie....

A song that reflects my mood at that moment...

A brush on my hair while i'm falling asleep...

A hand written letter in the mail...

Splash of cold water on my feet before i head to bed...

A knowing nod from across the room....

A funny show

Cuban breakfast and coffee in Miami...

My mom exhaling on my face after reading her duas,
somehow the air seems cooler and sweeter.

Friends calling me across the oceans after
they heard my fave song on radio...

A kiss on the forehead ....out of blue

Sharing silence with a friend...

Start reading magazines from the last page.

Smell of mysore sandal soap.

A motorbike ride 

Falling asleep to a book!

Overhearing T talk to himself from another room

Sun dried clothes

Sweet Surprise at my door

Splitting Bourbon Chocolate biscuit and well i cant say the rest.

Dreamt

In a train

Unaware of eachother....

Were reading a news paper

Crossing the football ground

Chatting with few guys in my living room

about my friend

I see what i saw and wonder.

~  this dream, it was so intense, when i opened my eyes, i still felt the presence of my dream in my vision for the rest of the day  ~ 

Run like the wind!

One day, after a rush hour morning, i headed back home to find this on my kitchen pantry door. I cant tell how cute of a moment it was, my heart smiled.

My all time faves that I allow T to watch endlessly are Kung Fu Panda, Toy Story 1,2 and Transformers. I'm addicted to deep voices, i love them, cant get enough of them - so while watching Toy Story, i challenged myself that i wont google who did Buzz's voice....i knew the voice, i knew it- and after few days of concentrating i guessed it. Infinity and beyond to me. I cant wait for him and I to watch, "Finding Nemo"m Lion King.

T now wants the big Buzz Lightyear....but i'm resisting it. I love the psychology this movie plays on you. For the love of god, when i'm cleaning up the toys after T, I cant keep Buzz away from Woody, I keep both of them together, i feel bad otherwise. 

It's funny how t calls me Jessie and depending on the game we are playing, he's either the buzz or woody, and he shouts out "Run like the wind, bullseye"... 

Sometimes, during dinner, we circle back to Super man comics ( the best 25$ ever spent at B&N) and Bumblebee....

Our evenings end with Fergus's Big Splash, more of Toy story and both of us jumping on the bed, then i start threatening him that that if he doesnt go to bed, our family monster, buchi brother will come and get ya and that does it. 

As we see Japan

The earthquake, the tsunami and the exposure to radiation in Japan is unfathomable. People's lives are changed, thier cities are changed and they have nothing on thier backs....i worry for the sick, worry for the pregnant women, little kids.

All this chaos unfolding in another part of world untouched, unseen before- it feels unreal. Like its happening to somebody else in someother time. But how they cope with this natural calamity will be a lesson learnt for the human race. I'm following this very closely, the nuclear reactors, the local stories, what such sudden act of fate can leave you to bare life and you'd wonder, what have I lost? Or have I really been saved by this spare of life.

As listening to PBS radio 90.9, they were interviewing a Nj based US citizen, living with his family in south west of Tokyo and he says how gracefully people are handling the situation, no hoarding, no stealing, no fighting for food, everyone there is going about trying to make sense of all this. When I heard it, the scene of Katrina flashed ahead of me. Another local guy said, the tremors after the earthquake keep happening and if they go about few hours with out any tremors, they start to wonder if something more grave is coming thier way.

Verizon is offering free international calls to japan till April 10th and is also offering the japan tv channel w/out any charges for the next month. I think that's wonderful, a corporate giant w/ a little bit of heart. Just my non-challenging daily activity feels like out of normal when I think of my fellow human beings.

Please have hope. It's not easy, it sure seems like a tough road ahead to recuperate from all this tragic loss of life of a city, lives of people missing, lives of survivors with no homes - in the darkest moments its harder to remember what to really hold on to.

Hold on to your memories, hold on to your love, hold on to yourself - hold on to hope. 

People vs Kids

Half way down the stairs in the hallway at school, T says, mamma my M&M's, my M&M's. Not knowing what he was talking about, we headed back to his class, he swiftly flipped his cubbie and pulled out his M&M's. Happy that he was happy we headed back to the car, during the drive, while chatting with him, i asked him who gave him the M&M's, mouth full he says "um hmm...", i guessed "is it miss K", i heard "um..hmm...", Naturally, i extended my hand towards him and asked him for an M&M. To that he replies, mamma, M&M's are not for people, they are for kids.....ha ha ha....

I couldnt beleive what i heard, i tried my case a little harder, but he kept saying vegetables are for people not kids, M&M's are for kids not people. (He meant, just like how vegetables are for big people, candy was for only little kids)

Love you munni.

Be Nice!

Few people at work couldn't follow my dry subtle humor, they thought i was being mean to them. They knew it was all in good humor, but they couldn't believe i would be brutally honest about few things. 

One day, I decided to tone it down my subtlety and left a HUGE post-it on my laptop to remind myself, to 'Be Nice',  for 2 maybe 3 days it worked. Then i thought i'll pass it to the the guy next to me, on whom i rubbed off some of my humor and he was starting to be little honest too. 

After few days, that guy felt i needed it back, and gave me the same post-it, except the day i came to work, i saw another post-it next to it, saying - "Be extra nice", I cracked up laughing when i entered 5100 and saw it. Apparently, another girl in the room thought i needed the extra dosage!

It's a constant reminder now. Love you babes!