This and that...

When T kisses me on my palm ...

A hot cuppa chai....

Ammi's biryani...

Ammi's morning greetings...

Baba's hearty hugs....

Sight of my baba engrossed reading a book...

Smell of an old old book...

A deep voice that is just mine...

Flowers...

Sexy watch...

Sexier shoes....

A thought provoking movie....

A song that reflects my mood at that moment...

A brush on my hair while i'm falling asleep...

A hand written letter in the mail...

Splash of cold water on my feet before i head to bed...

A knowing nod from across the room....

A funny show

Cuban breakfast and coffee in Miami...

My mom exhaling on my face after reading her duas,
somehow the air seems cooler and sweeter.

Friends calling me across the oceans after
they heard my fave song on radio...

A kiss on the forehead ....out of blue

Sharing silence with a friend...

Start reading magazines from the last page.

Smell of mysore sandal soap.

A motorbike ride 

Falling asleep to a book!

Overhearing T talk to himself from another room

Sun dried clothes

Sweet Surprise at my door

Splitting Bourbon Chocolate biscuit and well i cant say the rest.

Dreamt

In a train

Unaware of eachother....

Were reading a news paper

Crossing the football ground

Chatting with few guys in my living room

about my friend

I see what i saw and wonder.

~  this dream, it was so intense, when i opened my eyes, i still felt the presence of my dream in my vision for the rest of the day  ~ 

Run like the wind!

One day, after a rush hour morning, i headed back home to find this on my kitchen pantry door. I cant tell how cute of a moment it was, my heart smiled.

My all time faves that I allow T to watch endlessly are Kung Fu Panda, Toy Story 1,2 and Transformers. I'm addicted to deep voices, i love them, cant get enough of them - so while watching Toy Story, i challenged myself that i wont google who did Buzz's voice....i knew the voice, i knew it- and after few days of concentrating i guessed it. Infinity and beyond to me. I cant wait for him and I to watch, "Finding Nemo"m Lion King.

T now wants the big Buzz Lightyear....but i'm resisting it. I love the psychology this movie plays on you. For the love of god, when i'm cleaning up the toys after T, I cant keep Buzz away from Woody, I keep both of them together, i feel bad otherwise. 

It's funny how t calls me Jessie and depending on the game we are playing, he's either the buzz or woody, and he shouts out "Run like the wind, bullseye"... 

Sometimes, during dinner, we circle back to Super man comics ( the best 25$ ever spent at B&N) and Bumblebee....

Our evenings end with Fergus's Big Splash, more of Toy story and both of us jumping on the bed, then i start threatening him that that if he doesnt go to bed, our family monster, buchi brother will come and get ya and that does it. 

As we see Japan

The earthquake, the tsunami and the exposure to radiation in Japan is unfathomable. People's lives are changed, thier cities are changed and they have nothing on thier backs....i worry for the sick, worry for the pregnant women, little kids.

All this chaos unfolding in another part of world untouched, unseen before- it feels unreal. Like its happening to somebody else in someother time. But how they cope with this natural calamity will be a lesson learnt for the human race. I'm following this very closely, the nuclear reactors, the local stories, what such sudden act of fate can leave you to bare life and you'd wonder, what have I lost? Or have I really been saved by this spare of life.

As listening to PBS radio 90.9, they were interviewing a Nj based US citizen, living with his family in south west of Tokyo and he says how gracefully people are handling the situation, no hoarding, no stealing, no fighting for food, everyone there is going about trying to make sense of all this. When I heard it, the scene of Katrina flashed ahead of me. Another local guy said, the tremors after the earthquake keep happening and if they go about few hours with out any tremors, they start to wonder if something more grave is coming thier way.

Verizon is offering free international calls to japan till April 10th and is also offering the japan tv channel w/out any charges for the next month. I think that's wonderful, a corporate giant w/ a little bit of heart. Just my non-challenging daily activity feels like out of normal when I think of my fellow human beings.

Please have hope. It's not easy, it sure seems like a tough road ahead to recuperate from all this tragic loss of life of a city, lives of people missing, lives of survivors with no homes - in the darkest moments its harder to remember what to really hold on to.

Hold on to your memories, hold on to your love, hold on to yourself - hold on to hope. 

People vs Kids

Half way down the stairs in the hallway at school, T says, mamma my M&M's, my M&M's. Not knowing what he was talking about, we headed back to his class, he swiftly flipped his cubbie and pulled out his M&M's. Happy that he was happy we headed back to the car, during the drive, while chatting with him, i asked him who gave him the M&M's, mouth full he says "um hmm...", i guessed "is it miss K", i heard "um..hmm...", Naturally, i extended my hand towards him and asked him for an M&M. To that he replies, mamma, M&M's are not for people, they are for kids.....ha ha ha....

I couldnt beleive what i heard, i tried my case a little harder, but he kept saying vegetables are for people not kids, M&M's are for kids not people. (He meant, just like how vegetables are for big people, candy was for only little kids)

Love you munni.

Be Nice!

Few people at work couldn't follow my dry subtle humor, they thought i was being mean to them. They knew it was all in good humor, but they couldn't believe i would be brutally honest about few things. 

One day, I decided to tone it down my subtlety and left a HUGE post-it on my laptop to remind myself, to 'Be Nice',  for 2 maybe 3 days it worked. Then i thought i'll pass it to the the guy next to me, on whom i rubbed off some of my humor and he was starting to be little honest too. 

After few days, that guy felt i needed it back, and gave me the same post-it, except the day i came to work, i saw another post-it next to it, saying - "Be extra nice", I cracked up laughing when i entered 5100 and saw it. Apparently, another girl in the room thought i needed the extra dosage!

It's a constant reminder now. Love you babes! 

Bon Appetit!

Joe, the chef in café, and I are friends of sorts. I like the food he whips out and I mostly end up at his kiosk, so he got used to seeing me and I got used to telling him how I liked my lunch. For the past few weeks I didn’t get a chance to head to café and ended up at vending machines, soup cans, friends bringing me lunch and all that.

After a long break, I headed down to café today and he was so pleased to see me, he came out of his kiosk and walked to the one where I was at, cooked lunch for me, while he was grilling my chicken, we had a lovely chat about family, love, life, divorces, work. Apparently after 20 yrs of being married, he separated from his wife.
As he was wrapping my lunch with extra condiments, he asks me “Are you from the city?"
Naah...i replied.
"Has to be New York, then?”
I smiled and asked “why, do you think that, Joe?”,
Naah….you have THAT city spunk, like a NY girl!
I couldn’t help but laugh it off. Spunk huh!

He cooked an extra steak of chicken for me, and added the hot sauce just as I like it.

His well grilled chicken sandwich for a city gal was yummy (as taran says yummy in my tummy). It brought a smile to me as i thought of our candid conversation. Thanks Joe!

How American are you?

I'm not a efficient grocery shopper. I buy only what i need and what i see will be used. Even if the bread i so like is offering the second one free, if i buy one, i woulnt pick it. The guilt that i'm contributing to wastefully wasting food doesnt sit well with me. The other day, i was at the store and picking potatoes, very clearly it said, Buy One, get the other bag free. I gracefully walked away, but the guy who was stocking the bananas next to me, saw that i was walking away with out my free bag of spuds, and felt free to tell me that i shouldnt forget the free bag.

Instead of trying to explain my stance, running short of time, i reluctanly picked my extra bag of potatoes. So now i ended up with 10 pounds of alu, by god! i barely go thru the 5 what was i goign to do with the extra 5.

The next day, i shamelessly offered my friend, that extra bag of it. As much as she appreciated, she was curious, why was i bringing her some vegetable. Now that i had time on hand, i explained to her the best way i could, that i'm not too big on taking the second bag of a vegetable or bread - which i just paid for the first one. How am i to consume all of it. I've let many such deals go past me in the past, this isnt the first time - Cheese, bread, cookies, softdrinks.

A guy with last name Hamm, overheard our conversation and said, "Now, that is very un-american!"...Ha! bite me - was going to be my reply, but i smiled and shrugged.

What would you do? 

Ghalib in my life....

Di-e-nadaan tujhey hua kya hai

Akhir iss dard ki dawa kya hai

Humko unse wafaa ki hai umeed

Jo nahi jaante wafaa kya hai ....

When my sister was seriously ill and we all flew to see her in Melbourne, few years ago, I remember walking down the halls with a 2 month taran in tow, up and down the hall. Because, the nurses wouldnt allow a infant in the ICU. So between me and my mom, my dad, we would take turns nursing, napping taran, changing him everything in the hospital. All this when we werent caring for my brand new nephew Asad.

But as my sister got better, she was changed to a maternity section, we noticed by the end of every week, Jijju or I would be running to the store to buy the infant formula, one day, lunoo said, how come the formula is running out so quickly, shouldnt it be lasting for over 2-3 weeks the least, a visiting friend Cherrie wondered maybe they are using the formlua for other kids in the ward. To that my dad replied, if then it's all going to the right use, so what if it's not just our baby.

Something about that struck with me. He saw through the most simplest form of things. During dad's ...... a blind man from VJY came by to give respects. How did he know dad i asked, oh well, he's the only man who'd buy me tea and biscuits when he was passing by. They both grew to know each other and befriended.

While driving back home the other day, I was heavily reflecting on few incidents and felt, Greatness is in the simplicity of life. It comes in recognizing and acknowledging the simple acts of life, the kindness, the courteousness, the patience in the most impatient of times, the grace - there lies the true greatness the people are remembered with and of. One can be the most intelligent Astronaut, a scientist, top bureaucrat - but it all only comes to life only when traits of simple nature reflect in thoughts as well as actions happen.



My all time fave song. there is no link to my title and my blog, lol, but i'm so in love with my dad's collection of Ghalib's cassettes that i sneaked from his dear music ensemble. Love you baba, i want you to know that i miss you terribly.

The Noir ones

Few weeks ago, i saw Gulaal. The movie takes you to so many levels of lives that you may or may not come across. But the dark beauty of that movie can leave you with many questions. I dont know, for many weeks i've been trying to come up with right sum of words to express and am falling short of it. He has his own genre, one has to dig deep in their own worlds of parallel lives, to come up with such brilliance. His characters justify the essence of sacrificing unapologetically others sentiments for their self interests.

I think i got introed to Mr. Anurag Kashyap by the way of - hmm...was it "No smoking"....John abraham finds himslef in the midst of Russian military, i think, in a bathtub, in the middle of nowhere in snow...the abstractness and the eccentricity of the movie....made me fall in respect with Mr. K. Dev D is another one of my fave.

My first taste of offbeat movies that i can remember of is Salaam Bombay by M. Nair. I could never shake it off even to this day, the way, the pimp, Nana Patekar, whips his belt out and starts hitting the floor where the street kid w/ chai is standing. The sheer power that ass is feeling by exposing the helplessness of the kid - gives me quivers even to this day. ( ha i found the vid).



Some of my other fave movies of this genre are: Mandi, Hazaaron Khwaishey Aisi, Bazaar, Paar, City of Joy, Ardh Satya, Mirza Ghalib, Tamas (on DD, on sundays i remember watching this with my baba, after this he'd take me on his scooter to the market in RJY to buy veggies and meat.), another one,  Cant remember the name of the movie but Girish Karnad is the landlord and shabana azmi ends up as his mistress, Mirch Masala - uff the list is endless. What are your fave's?

Valentine!

Ooh…valentines is around the corner.

Sweet surprises, tender admirations, cute first’s!

Asking that “special one” out, hoping “that special one” takes you out, the sweaty palms, the shy looks, sneaking in, sneaking out, and fibbing to parents! Wondering if you are thought of or not….wandering away in dreams….I'm a closet romantic, shh...

For many vowed down couples, who are totally uninterested in tackling this day, it’s quite a refuge to go to work and sift through the day without any hassles.

Curiously, I asked my friends around what are they planning for their valentines…

FIRST: One says, oh well, I’m going to Boscov’s to return something, I have 15 mts to shop, so whatever I find in fifteen mts for him is what he’s going to get!

SECOND: He has ordered dozen roses and made reservations for dinner at a fancy restaurant. Yaawnn….fine, whatever, do what everybody else does?

THIRD: this guy is taking his girlfriend for a helicopter ride. What can I say about that, he’s setting his bar too high for the rest of his valentine days to come.

FOURTH: A newly married guy- says- he actually went to his wife and said, what I’m going to say in unromantic, but there’s this deal, instead of doing roses and dinner and all, I’ll buy you a purse that you like. A WHAT- I ASKED- A PURSE?? Ok then….She actually liked his idea!

FIFTH: He’s taking one of his three girlfriends out for dinner and musical theatre. What about the other two…still in works he replied.

SIXTH: This guy is blessed with a pregnant GF- when I asked him he went on and on about his monthly expenditure of alimony, a big boat and all. I’m sorry I asked. But I know he’s the nicest…I’m sure he’ll pull something off.

He later on shared, that sometimes while she’s in the shower, he even sits on the b/r floor and talks to her. All the girls in the room, just echoed a sweet “aww….”, he then says, you have to take care of the little things even if you dont want to. HA HA….

WOW! So much for all my valentine stories…

What have you thought of for your valentine? What is your love story?

Hope everyone gets to be with their sweethearts, that person who brings that flame for life, that person who brings that sweet coziness to your life. Love you! As RJ call me “Love you, babes” :)

One of faves, i thought of three, but this one tops! Happy Valentine's Day, dolls and dudes!

Butterfly wings

I just noticed, my shoe has butterflies on the sole....it made me feel like flying, it made me feel want to flap my wings and go....

Makes

Dhobi Ghaat

I loved it. Not everyone gets it, but it's an offbeat movie for bollywood.

AK says "To my muse, my whore and my beloved - Bombay"

Who is your Muse? Ever wondered!

Deep still waters

Jaane kahan kaise shayher

Leke gaya yeh dil mujhey….

Few weeks ago I had this epiphany while sitting in the DMV at Harrisburg. I looked around that huge lobby, there was a mom feeding her baby, few blacks, few mexicans, few desi's, teenagers giggling, old men nodding thier heads of thier incovenience, an old lady going through her bag...I felt so in tune with life, with people around me. I realized that the people around us reflect what we feel inside. Let me change ‘We’ to ‘I’, since this is more of my reflection of thoughts.

Back to it, when I see people doing good deeds, they inspire me to be good, I relate to it, I understand the wanting and the well roundedness it has and the paying forward ripple effects it has. When I see bad people, really the horrible of horrible denominators of life, the murderers, molesters…in literal terms I cant relate to it, but I can understand the drive of where its coming from. The bad in me is not the same as in that person, but at some level of the ladders we intersect at some point.

A mothers need to ignore the spoiled child, a fathers want to protect his child from making a bad choice, a girls emotion of love, a womans helplessness, a mans drive to provide, walking the lines of arrogance, jealousy, feeling stupid, – I feel like the people who walk and talk around us are extensions of who we are.

That’s the right word, extensions.

The people extend our lives, our thoughts, our choices our mistakes, our loves, our deaths, our destinations. Life as a circle moves as whirlwind with all of us in it, there is no start and there is no end. We all live eachother’s lives without the slightest inkling of it.

I as a person might live the simplest of live’s but the most successful one is paying the cost I can’t afford to and I’m compromising on the dreams that the successful person couldn’t let go. In some ways, we both lost and we both win.

The rapist, he/she violate the most valued right of every human being- but we are no different from them, when we make choices that demean the value of life, when I ignore someone doing the wrong thing. When I tolerate intolerable aspects of life, I’m as small a person as the other one is.

I didn’t stand up for the person I most love because she loves the person that hurt her, and I felt so small about myself. I cant shake it off. By letting it go, I tolerated a behavior that is unacceptable and that makes me no better.

The next time, you look around and wonder why people behave a certain way and are quick to judge them. Take a second, think, which part of you do they reflect. Which part of that person resides in you. It wont be the most literal one, but it’ll be in a way that’ll take you by surprise.

I tried explaining this to a friend and it totally went over her head. I chuckled and thought I’ll share here. I’ve also realized, the waters in my head run deep when I’m not chillaxing….

Snowed in

Taran making snow angels leaning on the snow! My raja babylu...

This is my fave, i wish i hadnt messed up my camera at Reheboth, i could have taken some awesome pics. My camera phone did an ok job i guess.

My Patio

this is my second fave, love that tree...just so gracefully standing there.