B. Face

Does this ever happen to you, my dolls! Happened quite a few times with me. 

I cant remember the source of this picture, drop a note if anyone else does.

Sometimes how we feel inside is not how we look outside and the balance is so lost in translation that it's futile to explain to ourselves, let alone the strangers who think we are curdling their background of a lovely day. Get over it, and remember if you see us girls like that, just remember, this is just how my face looks too, on a good day. 

Aien..wyein

Iss tarah aapko yaad kiya karthein hain

Ke ghairon ko aapke naam se pukara karthin hain....

Sent from my iPhone


On a sleepless early morning, at 4.30am, in my cloud of thoughts, i composed this....
with the fear that i'll forget by the time i'll actually get up, i emailed myself these lines.
Sometimes i surprise myself for the extents i go to not forget something, stupid me!
I want to build on this...hopefully something else will come to me on another sleepless morning. Until then my lovelies kick off your morning with this oldie song, that guys groovy dance moves is quite adorable!

Deep still waters

Jaane kahan kaise shayher

Leke gaya yeh dil mujhey….

Few weeks ago I had this epiphany while sitting in the DMV at Harrisburg. I looked around that huge lobby, there was a mom feeding her baby, few blacks, few mexicans, few desi's, teenagers giggling, old men nodding thier heads of thier incovenience, an old lady going through her bag...I felt so in tune with life, with people around me. I realized that the people around us reflect what we feel inside. Let me change ‘We’ to ‘I’, since this is more of my reflection of thoughts.

Back to it, when I see people doing good deeds, they inspire me to be good, I relate to it, I understand the wanting and the well roundedness it has and the paying forward ripple effects it has. When I see bad people, really the horrible of horrible denominators of life, the murderers, molesters…in literal terms I cant relate to it, but I can understand the drive of where its coming from. The bad in me is not the same as in that person, but at some level of the ladders we intersect at some point.

A mothers need to ignore the spoiled child, a fathers want to protect his child from making a bad choice, a girls emotion of love, a womans helplessness, a mans drive to provide, walking the lines of arrogance, jealousy, feeling stupid, – I feel like the people who walk and talk around us are extensions of who we are.

That’s the right word, extensions.

The people extend our lives, our thoughts, our choices our mistakes, our loves, our deaths, our destinations. Life as a circle moves as whirlwind with all of us in it, there is no start and there is no end. We all live eachother’s lives without the slightest inkling of it.

I as a person might live the simplest of live’s but the most successful one is paying the cost I can’t afford to and I’m compromising on the dreams that the successful person couldn’t let go. In some ways, we both lost and we both win.

The rapist, he/she violate the most valued right of every human being- but we are no different from them, when we make choices that demean the value of life, when I ignore someone doing the wrong thing. When I tolerate intolerable aspects of life, I’m as small a person as the other one is.

I didn’t stand up for the person I most love because she loves the person that hurt her, and I felt so small about myself. I cant shake it off. By letting it go, I tolerated a behavior that is unacceptable and that makes me no better.

The next time, you look around and wonder why people behave a certain way and are quick to judge them. Take a second, think, which part of you do they reflect. Which part of that person resides in you. It wont be the most literal one, but it’ll be in a way that’ll take you by surprise.

I tried explaining this to a friend and it totally went over her head. I chuckled and thought I’ll share here. I’ve also realized, the waters in my head run deep when I’m not chillaxing….