Not every evening is like this….
There is an immense sweetness in the breeze…
There is a high you feel just being wrapped around in that cool brisk breeze while still being in the most mundane way of life.
Alone in the kitchen, with my wine, altoids and open windows- after many days Im cooking and didn’t put too much effort into it and yet it tasted solid. 
The birds chirping, a quiet home, the sound of rustling leaves 🍃
Im full of gratitude!
https://youtu.be/0KfIqCnIsnw?si=VGjEP4QSwtfZEx5F
My heart is filled with memories and bittersweet.
My firstborn is fledgling, he is ready to take off, emotionally and physically. He seems to be in a state to can’t wait to start. He’s making the most of his days at HS. Hanging out at Timmy’s, Colin’s, Sam’s. This chapter meant as much to me as it did to him. Tears of my heart and all the villagers it took to raise him will be in his pocket forever- guiding him, loving him and blessing him. I love you munna. The baby I held on day one who felt like he was always with me, the kid i wrapped up and drove to parks and book shops to read, preschool days, elementary school, middle school and high school days al of it flooding in my head to remind me- Ive grown with you and though you drove me crazy - I wouldn’t want it any other way. A part of me will be living its own life elsewhere and I’ll never be entirely complete, just a version of myself with a cherished part away from me. Let the new adventure make way for you. 
Not my words yet they spoke to me…
one of Peg's cigarettes, even though Id quit a few weeks earlier. Or had sort of quit.
"The field of honor is a painful field," Olive went on at last, as though Peg had not spoken. "That's what my father taught me when I was young. He taught me that the field of honor is not a place where children can play. Children don't have any honor, you see, and they aren't expected to, because it's too difficult for them. It's too painful.
But to become an adult, one must step into the field of honor. Everything will be expected of you now. You will need to be vigilant in your principles. Sacrifices will be demanded. You will be judged. If you make mistakes, you must account for them.
There will be instances when you must cast aside your impulses and take a higher stance than another person—a person without honor-might take. Such instances may hurt, but that's why honor is a painful field. Do you understand?" I nodded. The words, I understood. What this had to do with Walter and Frank Grecco and me, I had no clue. But I was listening. I had a feeling her words would make more sense to me later, once I had time to give them more consideration. But as I say—I was listening. This was the longest speech I'd ever heard Olive make, so I knew this was an important moment. Actually, I don't think I'd ever listened more carefully to anyone.
"Of course, nobody is required to stand in the field of honor, Olive continued. "If you find it too challenging, you may always exit, and then you can remain a child. But if you wish to be a person of character, I'm afraid this is the only way. But it may be painful!" Olive turned her hands over on her lap, exposing her palms.
"All this, my father taught me when I was young. It constitutes everything I know. I try to apply it to my life. I'm not always successful, but I try. If any of this is helpful to you, Vivian, you are welcome to put it to use."
- Elizabeth Gilbert 405
In my experience, this is the hardest lesson of them all. Page 342
After a certain age, we are all walking around this world in bodies made of secrets and shame and sorrow and ola, unhealed injuries. Ou hearts grow sore and misshapen around all this pain yet somehow, still, we carry on.In my experience, this is the most challenging lesson of all.
W/hen we are young, Angela, we may fall victim to the mis-Wonception that time will heal all wounds and ht entaily everything will shake itself out. But as we get older, we learn this sad truth: some things can never be fixed. Some mistakes can never be put right—not by the passage of time, and not by our most fervent wishes, either. Page 341
A trip that crossed the boundaries
A trip that invited my child into adulthood
A place that is holding experiences for him
College visit- Chicago to Urbana
a simple evening with my chai, after a long day at work and track meet at school.
Remember to always be kind and grateful. 
Waiting here at Ridge road and reading my book, my tea and i hear the birds afar and the dull noise of the traffic and the breeze. Im grateful for this moment. Im grateful! 
…two people reached out to credit my work… as I walked in, she came to me to complement. I graciously thanked and appreciated the kind words. But the self doubt from last night, the narrative I was telling myself - idk - that was real too!
In the same breath it took this long for them to recognize my work! I didn’t do anything extraordinary- I didn’t word massage either - I was being myself. I have a long way to go or not, i need to learn to trust myself and what is coming to me naturally. James Clear is in my head now….
tense work, snow storm delays with vendors and figuring stuff out to resolve and providing answers… session of paddleball… chipotle for dinner….long chat with Ammi, while she’s fasting, bhaiya in Dubai, Nasreen Apa’s son in BITS Pilani dubai, Parveen’s oldest with Luna, her plans for her younger one, her ajeeb husband, Shyam Benegal’s movie, Shabana Azmi’s as a woman with lack of medical resources, random stuff. Im grateful to have her to talk to about random things
Last night
Remote looks like this for me today! Finished a logistics call - now onto next. Let’s go, bruh! Schools closed, Gary shoveled the snow- im grateful for that.
Sc
Phl-charlotte-drive to prosperity- beautiful lake house- lake boat ride on a cold late afternoon - fire pits- fish curry - freyer- rain- drive back to Charlotte- taran forgetting his wallet- drive back to prosperity- drive back to Charlotte- dinner at a hookah lounge ha ha ha- walk back in rain - staunch no to uber- we’ll thug out- ivey’s hotel- L’occitaine- tour around Charlotte- such a small town- you could be anywhere in 20 minutes max. Felt like there was so much time to do stuff but not enough stuff to do. Flight back - Amex lounge- taran sleepover at Timmy’s at midnight. Wfh next day!
