Bakio

They trimmed my fallen branches and I baked banana bread for them! My neighbor is sweet! ​

The company you keep

Rocky giving me company on a Sat morning. I’m fasting today 😊 ​

Spring forward

​a simple evening with my chai, after a long day at work and track meet at school. 

Remember to always be kind and grateful. 

What are you grateful about?

Waiting here at Ridge road and reading my book, my tea and i hear the birds afar and the dull noise of the traffic and the breeze. Im grateful for this moment. Im grateful! ​

Words

​…two people reached out to credit my work… as I walked in, she came to me to complement. I graciously thanked and appreciated the kind words. But the self doubt from last night, the narrative I was telling myself - idk - that was real too! 

In the same breath it took this long for them to recognize my work! I didn’t do anything extraordinary- I didn’t word massage either - I was being myself. I have a long way to go or not, i need to learn to trust myself and what is coming to me naturally. James Clear is in my head now…. 

In the air

​tense work, snow storm delays with vendors and figuring stuff out to resolve and providing answers… session of paddleball… chipotle for dinner….long chat with Ammi, while she’s fasting, bhaiya in Dubai, Nasreen Apa’s son in BITS Pilani dubai, Parveen’s oldest with Luna, her plans for her younger one, her ajeeb husband, Shyam Benegal’s movie, Shabana Azmi’s as a woman with lack of medical resources, random stuff. Im grateful to have her to talk to about random things 

Cold continues

Last night

Remote looks like this for me today! Finished a logistics call - now onto next. Let’s go, bruh! Schools closed, Gary shoveled the snow- im grateful for that. 

A small town a big house

Sc 

Phl-charlotte-drive to prosperity- beautiful lake house- lake boat ride on a cold late afternoon ​- fire pits- fish curry - freyer- rain- drive back to Charlotte- taran forgetting his wallet- drive back to prosperity- drive back to Charlotte- dinner at a hookah lounge ha ha ha- walk back in rain - staunch no to uber- we’ll thug out- ivey’s hotel- L’occitaine- tour around Charlotte- such a small town- you could be anywhere in 20 minutes max. Felt like there was so much time to do stuff but not enough stuff to do. Flight back - Amex lounge- taran sleepover at Timmy’s at midnight. Wfh next day! 

A quick farewell

​Buzi left. As I joined the morning huddle yesterday this news was waiting for me and he shared. All throughout the day- it was up and down- 

Why? Well the reorg! 

He always wanted to work here- things change! 

He’s a hustler, so why is he not sticking to the gig we have here - because there is no room for moving forward due to the 3 year project. 

Is it because he didn’t want to work as part of my new team? - No thats not it, he wanted to be a part of the project. 

I don’t have answers- i have more questions and the answers I have are not bringing me to a place where I hope to be in few days. My answer to my many questions is - its a process, i have to process the memories of hiring him, the working experience and the move to Linda’s team- the changes and now more changes. 

I sent the invite for meetup next week with few friends. 

Heavy

Foggy day into work this morning! 

Heavy conversations with Ammi! A cloud followed me around into wee hours of the night. 

After grocery shopping/ unloading / fixing dinner/ dishes - my body was still not ready to tire me out- my mind was at many places - questioning- wondering and thinking- at 2am i let it rest. 

Unexpected

…​after paying the hefty 700$ for fixing my pocket door that my house keeper Zuly kinda broke, I needed some downtime to perk me up. Some deep decluttering, long baths, braiding hair, an errand at tarjay, meeting someone from my gym there, baking brownies- I let my home wrap me up cozily. Im grateful to have this warmth. 

Ammi mentioned Bhaiya is down with cold & Luna is getting ready for Ramzaan. 

Noon walks

​….In the midst of workday…as I went on a walk with Matt…our conversations take such interesting turns…when I said something….i realized that I didn’t think about this before….honest to god i have an uncanny ability to find the most dark / intense / deep shows or moments or books. The maze they create in the world, the characters from either or and the resemblance of them- it’s like they become a part of me and i for them. 

Sometimes when thoughts become words and take shape - they hold power. 

Burleigh

​…..my mind wanders…as it’s snowing outside and the cold brew in my stained china wafts the aroma of my chai ….to a place where I had last known a version of me that I fiercely loved. 

Kal shaam

…​listening to the song on our drive and she said - i like this singer - the sight of the vast farms with the sunset, the single lanes heading towards Savonah Bistro with pink skies as blankets, dark silhouette of bare trees and white pillowy snow….we listened to this song in quietness and my heart captured the image and now it’s a moment I’ll index through. 

https://youtu.be/j7eI0es-29E?si=8qETIay9dfnCA85i

Bruce says

​…… its a hard thing realizing people aren’t who you want them to be. 

No truer words spoken but in the same token - they are not bound by your values or your ideas of them.

It still doesn’t sting less. The idea of their grandness that crumbles as the time wills past you & you are left with a vast hollowness that just doesn’t want to fill in. No matter how much you try.

Bruce can’t talk back to me but I replay those words.